The art of entertaining for gatherings big and small

From invitations to flowers, party themes and activities, menu planning and pairings, there’s much to consider as you plan your seasonal gatherings

Newport is a city built on entertaining. There was the occasion when, on July 4, 1781, Colonel Archibald Crary, head of the local militia, held a dinner party for French officers stationed in Newport during the Revolutionary War. The gathering concluded with the customary 13 toasts — one for each state in the new Union — accompanied by artillery fire.

In August 1857, William Peabody Wetmore hosted the “Fête Champêtre” at Chateau-sur-Mer, which welcomed more than 2,500 guests and landed a gushing feature on the cover of The New York Times. A local reporter from The Newport Daily News called it “incomparably the grandest private entertainment ever given in the country.” The event would set the bar high for the decades of Gilded Age entertaining to come.

While the formality of entertaining has faded since then (you no longer must be on Mrs. Astor’s Four Hundred list to score an invitation to a splashy social gathering!), playing host to a successful, seamless soirée still takes a certain level of panache. Whether a casual Friendsgiving with BYOB beverages and light bites, or a swanky sit-down dinner on Christmas Eve, there’s still a recipe to guarantee a gathering to remember.

We’ve sought the advice and insight of local pros to help you create a sensational holiday celebration you can simultaneously host and enjoy.

Setting the tone

Bettie Bearden Pardee wrote the book on entertaining and has been nationally recognized for her hostess acumen. The Newport resident, a former contributing editor for Bon Appétit, is a garden designer and author of five books. Named multiple times to Salonniere’s list of 100 Best Party Hosts in America, she is known for her gracious, seemingly effortless entertaining.

“It really does start with the invitation, because that’s the first impression,” says Pardee.

Although she still loves a beautifully designed snail-mail invite and has a file dedicated to printed invitations she’s sent in the past, Pardee concedes the practicality of online invitations can’t be argued.

“Look at what Paperless Post has brought to the world!” she says. “I never thought I would go with Paperless Post, but now I found with everyone traveling so much and living in so many different places, you can’t count on the mail to get what you want to them.” Customization, automated reminders, and RSVP tracking, she explains, have lightened the load of a party host’s daunting to-do list.

Sure, a simple text message can communicate need-to-know information, but an actual invitation sets the tone from the jump, says Pardee. “It’s a way to take it from, ‘oh, it’s a party,’ to, ‘oohhh, this is intriguing!’” she explains. “The imagination starts gelling, and I always suggest people putting the theme or applying the occasion to it.”

Creating the vibe

Sharing a holiday meal at a beautifully dressed table, whether kept simple or dripping in well-thought design, brings guests together, literally and figuratively. Details, including flowers, make a table come alive.

Jill Rizzo, author of “The Flower Recipe Book” and owner of Wild Season Florals in Middletown, says large arrangements are typically better suited for a front entry table or sideboard. Smaller pieces, even tiny bud vases with a single stem, instantly create ambiance while allowing guests to converse easily.

“Especially if it’s a long table and you don’t have a ton of real estate, do several smaller things, so that everybody has a little something in front of them,” says Rizzo. “I think that’s a little less pressure on you, if you’re making it yourself, to just make a couple of little key things, rather than trying to make some huge showy centerpiece.”

Arrangements don’t have to be overthought, complicated, or expensive. “It even can be very simple,” she says. “If you have a yard, you could clip just a few interesting branches; just three or four branches in a very simple vase is sometimes just enough, and that could be autumnal branches for Thanksgiving or fall decorating, and you can do evergreens or berry branches, things like that, for winter.”

As an alternative to flowers, Rizzo suggests using fruits and vegetables throughout the tablescape. Small pumpkins, gourds, squash and ornamental cabbage set the tone for a Thanksgiving look, while pomegranates, persimmons, and fresh cranberries give decidedly Christmas vibes.

“You can lay some loose evergreen sprigs down your table and whatever fruit or whatever kind of interesting thing you have on top of that, and that can make a beautiful little tablescape,” says Rizzo. “You could go the next step, combining some bud vases, and have a beautiful runner down your table.”

Spreading good energy

When Julia and Irvin Dominguez moved to Rhode Island as young marrieds, they loved everything about the state but found it challenging to meet people their age and develop lasting friendships — and knew other people did too.

In the winter of 2023, they launched The Dinner Club, regular open-invite gatherings at their home in Warren where people meet and converse over the evening meal. “We put it out into the universe and said, ‘If this works, this works. If not, we don’t really lose anything, right?’ And we started selling out of dinners right away,” says Julia.

With a few strategic gestures, creating synergy amongst strangers, it turns out, is easier than it sounds. “We make sure that as soon as they come in, they know that they’re wanted, they know that they are welcome here, whether that’s with a conversation, with a hug, or with handing them a cocktail or mocktail right away, and showing them around,” she says.

Once the dinner has started, conversation typically unfolds organically, but Julia and Irvin also place little cue cards bearing questions under each table setting. They lead to lively discussions that get the entire table chiming in.

“Just remember that you can strive for perfection, but there’ll probably be some hiccups along the way… there might be lulls in conversation, but that’s okay. Have some backup, have a little activity,” says Julia. “Sometimes we put brown paper on the table for tablecloth and just have some pens so people can doodle — have an activity or something that people can do with their hands.”

“People want to come together,” she adds, “they want to make friends, they want to be involved in the community, and it’s been very evident just with people showing up.”

Nicole Canning has hospitality in her DNA; her grandmother was the innkeeper of Aunt Polly’s Bed and Breakfast in Middletown for more than 35 years. So, when Stoneacre Hospitality acquired the Chart House Inn in Newport in 2022, Canning, the company’s co-owner and director of operations and marketing, was a natural at hosting guests.

Being interactive makes guests feel invested and involved, says Canning. She and her husband, Christopher Bender, held a memorable gathering where employees and friends made tamales together. It was an evening where bonds were formed, friendships were made, and laughter was endless, she recalls.

“It was fun to share the cultural breadth and depth of something we weren’t all familiar with,” she says. “We all got to kind of feel like a family because we were all enjoying it together, serving each other and passing around the plate. There’s something to that that feels really intimate.”

Perfect pairings

At Newport Wine Cellar & Gourmet, owner Maria Chiancola is accustomed to frantic holiday party guests unsure of what wines to bring to a gathering. There’s no need to worry, she says. Chiancola is well versed (and well stocked!) in wines with wide appeal.

“That sounds like an impossibility, but in fact, there are a handful of go-to wines that work,” she says. “For the holidays, my first suggestion is always a nice bottle of bubbles, and you don’t have to jump up to Champagne pricing. Because of the demand, the quality, and the labor that it takes to make Champagne, bottles start around $50, which is fine if people want that price point, but there are lots of alternatives in the mid-twenties.”

She typically suggests prosecco or a crémant, French sparkling wine produced similarly to Champagne but outside France’s Champagne region. “If looking for a white or a red, then I go for grapes that are more food flexible, more crowd pleasers … and I sell more pinot noir than any other red grape.”

But if seeking something a little unexpected, Chiancola says a grenache blend goes with almost any menu. “They’re incredibly food flexible, and they’re also a crowd pleaser wine. People who like cabernet like grenache. People who like pinot noir like grenache. It has a little bit of that tannic experience, a little bit more muscular than a pinot noir, but it still has that nice, juicy, forward fruit that’s very pleasing, very easy going. Keeping it in that $25 range, a grenache blend is a great pick.”

And to please palates with a penchant for white wines, Chiancola points to a Loire white from Savennières. “It’s half sauvignon blanc and half chardonnay, fermented in stainless steel, so it doesn’t have the big chardonnay style, but it has the beautiful chardonnay fruit flavors that everybody loves. But it has the politeness and acidity and aromatics of sauvignon blanc. So, it’s like meeting everybody in the middle.”

Menu planning made easy

A professional chef for more than three decades, menu planning comes naturally to Jon LoPresti, especially when acting as a chef consultant. He knows more than most about the pressure that can come with trying to please a variety of palates. For the holidays, classics are his go to — turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce — the works.

“If you try to be perfect about it and be everything to everyone, you’ll lose your mind,” he says. Reaching out in advance to guests who might have allergies or dietary restrictions will allow ample time to accommodate those diners and prepare alternative dishes to make them feel included.

Hosts can diversify the menu with hors d’oeuvres. LoPresti suggests gougères (cheesy puffs made from French choux pastry), charcuterie trays and cheese boards with dried fruits offering balance amongst the sweet and savory options. “I love opposites,” he says. “If you want to have a nice, salty piece of cheese or a sopressata with a little spice, I love membrillo — a quince jam.”

Tara Byrne, a Newport-based millennial with a knack for hosting unconventional gatherings, including early morning meet ups, credits her parents for teaching her and her siblings the art of hospitality.

“My parents came to America in the mid ’80s from Ireland, and were welcomed into large families here in Newport, and they got to see all these large families coming together and having parties, and then they brought that forward, having friends over all the time,” says Byrne. “My siblings and I have all adopted that love for hosting people and having people over, getting gatherings together and trying to make people feel welcomed.”

Korean American was the culinary theme of a Friendsgiving dinner she co-hosted last year. “But not all of them are big into cooking,” Byrne said of her guests, “so I had taken a bunch of recipe ideas, and I just sent them out in the group text for inspiration … it was so fun to have people pull things together and also get new recipes as well.”

The evening naturally took its course, with everyone talking feverishly about why they chose to make their specific dishes and how they prepared them. Then they shared the collective experience of tasting new and unexpected flavor profiles, like sesame soy deviled eggs.

“I love thinking of outside-of-the-box ideas and things that can be not a lot of pressure for people and pull them together,” says Byrne.

She, like her hosting peers, knows that mastering the art of holiday entertaining is about creating a joyful, relaxed atmosphere that lets guests feel welcome and celebrated. By balancing thoughtful planning with personal touches, hosts can enjoy the festivities as much as their guests, making the event memorable for everyone.